by Titika Schmidt
The bare tree
The branches of the tall walnut tree were bare already. The squirrel that had been stocking up its winter food supplies from this tree throughout the month of October hasn’t shown up for days. The air outside was cold and moist, typical for a November morning. Today, the sun was too weak to bring any warmth. My gaze wandered past the walnut tree to the city park. The late fall had caught up with the trees. They were sadly sticking their all but leafless branches towards the sky, reminding me of desperate hearts praying for mercy.
This thought made me utter a deep sigh and turn away from the window. Yes, mercy, I thought, that’s what I should pray for this morning. I kneeled down on the carpet and turned my heart toward the four members of a family I knew. My whole inner being welled up with a longing for God’s mercy for those four. I sank deeper and deeper into prayer. In the process, I didn’t even notice how I was being swept away by the Spirit and taken to a different place…
In the crack of dawn
I found myself wandering through a broad landscape, completely flat in every direction, as far as the eye could reach. There were no trees, bushes or other plants in sight. Everything was silvery and colourless like a picture in greyscale. A slight fog was rising up from the ground like haze and remained low above the ground. Grass was growing below my feet, like lawn. This too was silver grey and looked like it was frozen. Although I didn’t feel cold, I thought the grass might be thawing and causing the fog. Nevertheless, the surrounding landscape seemed to be covered with white frost. The sky was like a monotonous grey ceiling over the horizon. It was completely quiet. I walked on. Read the rest of this entry »
by Titika Schmidt
In the beginning was the hunger. And the hunger was with man. And it was a hunger for righteousness. And the hunger came to God and God answered the hungry and gave him a gift. God was not in the hunger; God is righteousness.
This is no attempt to re-write the Gospel of John. It is an observation and an experience from my own life. It is the Gospel of John as I have experienced it after having read it literally. John is actually saying in the Gospel:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. …There came a man … He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. … The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.1
There have been times, I was starving for the things that are in God until one day, I came to know the Word. Then I realized that in God’s eyes my life looked different. This gave me hope, which turned to faith, and the faith caused the hunger to grow. Soon, my desire, to live like God said that I could, grew so strong that it became first priority within me. In this way, the faith worked in me unconsciously and created something new. The Word became my life; it became flesh inside me. It did not only transform my inner being according to God’s intention but it also came to pass in my life. Read the rest of this entry »
by Titika Schmidt
The apostle looked up. Heaven opened. He saw the Holy Spirit come down to him as a dove. He heard the Father say to him: ‘my beloved son!’ He was filled by the presence and the very being of the eternal Father. The last Adam was absorbed by the spirit of God’s being. He was no ordinary man, this apostle. The Father came down in him and was ready to manifest Himself through this apostle, His son.
Jesus stepped out of the river Jordan and proceeded to a barren land. His mission was beginning; he was certain of it. He already knew that he was to be the last Adam. He knew that it was his purpose to retrieve what the first Adam had lost.
He was alone. He wanted to be alone so that he could enjoy undisturbed the fellowship with the Holy Spirit. He wanted to absorb the Father’s presence.
‘Oh, dear father, Abba, dad how I’ve missed you!’
He searched deep, deeper, within his spirit. He knew what his position had been before he was born into this human body. In his spirit, he saw the throne he had left behind when he entered this earth. He saw the throne he would inhabit when he finished his mission.
‘… the mission … Abba, daddy, I want to persevere; your will is mine … I am predestined to die, yet I will go where I will be crucified. I am not afraid to fulfil your will. You are within me.’ Read the rest of this entry »